Amanda Mandy Miura, 16, shuttler of Nan Hua Badminton Team, true blue 6th member of Arashi ★

sigh.

):

i was initally planning to faster blog about th happenings on my bday today whn i got home. but now, i am at home now, but sadly, i dont seem to have th urge to do so already. &its all because of the unwanted depression; sadness, taking ovr me.

i really do not know how to do.

i dont knw if this matter is about me or not, because apparently, no one told me about it. please dont expect me to know everything when no one gives me any relevant clues about whtevr thing you guys were on about, like th previous misunderstanding. no one told me tht she had her shoulder dislocated, till tht last-minute meeting, which i attended with you guys. it was only thn i found out. like, hello. please dnt blab whatevr nasty stuff about me behind my back and thn expect me to know wht i have done. if you guys expect me to do so, thn let me say this; if you guys dont explain to me what the matter is about, thn dont expect me to know wht you guys were talking about. if you guys really want to talk about this, then just tell me straight in the face. this way, no unnecessary misunderstandings will be created, and all these things would not have occured. its just a matter of communication breakdown; you guys keep talking about me behind my back and dont reveal th matter to me, thts why i was constantly being kept in the dark.

hai. anyway. this is not th point. th point is, i dont know if you guys were refering to me earlier today. which made me so worried. because. i really do not want another misunderstanding with you guys. and they always occur because you guys dont tell me what it is about. and if it is really about me, thn i hope you guys will confront me and tell me whats going on. because i am really lost. i do not know what is happening earlier. please dont expect me to know everything that's going on, like the previous misunderstanding. ):

hai. i dont want to continue talking abt th same ol' stupid thing anymore. its really tiring me out. seriously. i dont want to brood over it too much and end up crying again. because i know if you guys know tht i've done tht, you guys will still make it sound as if im a crybaby or something. its always like that, isnt it. if its not, thn prove it to me. stop detesting me when you guys havent actually known the real me yet. because, you guys do not even give me the chance to actually talk naturally and hang out with you guys. but then again, i suppose no one will even want to befriend me that much, aint it. because you guys already treat me as if im the bad and mean one. which, apparently, is so not true.

seriously lah. i really dont want to discuss about this already. please, for once, let me be myself for a while. please dont upset me again and again with unnecessary unfavourable matters.

if this whole thing is just me, thn just kindly say so. dont just, snap at me with attitude or something and say im just thinking too much. really. i dont want to receive this kind of treatment again. back to top?